Archive for the Life Category

Stream of Conch 2

Posted in Life, Love, Writing on October 9, 2007 by geniusadvice

As the sun sets
We step to the beat of the hues
; every hint of pink and orange are
On our lips
Every lavender and violet that sinks to the depths
Of the West pass through the lens of our eyes
Because we know cameras can’t capture the
Birth of our world
And as the creation of the night sky
Manifests itself again tonight
We hold hands.

sunset

Impressed

Posted in Life, Love, Poetry, Writing on September 17, 2007 by geniusadvice
  • Every time the floorboards creak,
    Every squeak reminds me of yesterday
    When you were here
    And actually left footprints.

Insomnia

Posted in English, Life, Love, Poetry, Writing on August 29, 2007 by geniusadvice

Insomnia

I quote.

Posted in Culture, Fiction, Life, Science on August 9, 2007 by geniusadvice

Fractal

I wanna tell you something Mark, something you do not yet know, that we K-PAXians have been around long enough to have discovered. The universe will expand, then it will collapse back on itself, then will expand again. It will repeat this process forever. What you don’t you know is that when the universe expands again, everything will be as it is now. Whatever mistakes you make this time around, you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make, you will live through again, & again, forever. So my advice to you is to get it right this time around. Because this time is all you have.
– Prot, K-PAX

Why You Aren’t Invited To Weddings Anymore

Posted in Humor, Life, Writing on July 20, 2007 by geniusadvice

10.
You keep tapping the glass with your fork, even after the newlyweds have kissed.

9.
You stick out your foot in the aisle in hopes of tripping the bride.

8.
You don’t even know who’s getting married.

7.
You’re the guy that gets to the venue late and takes the bride’s parking spot.

6.
You think after the wedding, the bride is going to eat the groom like praying mantids. And you keep telling that to everybody you meet.

5.
You try and toast the new couple but forget their names ’cause you’re drunk.

4.
After 5.), you think you can substitute their names with Bert & Ernie.

2.
You can’t count.

1.
When the officiator asks if anybody objects to the marriage, you stand up only to say, “Just stretching.”

Telephone Poles

Posted in Life, Love, Poetry, Writing on April 18, 2007 by geniusadvice

Those towers majestic
Stretching their p a r a ll e l
Fine lines unwinding
Now they’re Hydro Poles
With wire folds and they’re
Connecting faster than sound
Traveling towards you a thousand miles away
Controlling and rejecting
And defecting and ejecting waves into the air

And they’re
Eavesdropping

Hello
Hello
It’s been so long and I don’t care who’s wrong
My mind wandered to you lately and why don’t you come pay me a visit,
Since it’s fate that we met
Don’t give reasons to appease me, the teaser
I’m fine, but the visit is too costly for me
And your picture, it’s doing a toll on me

Why do we converse on hanging strings?
You leave me on the rims of defeat
Oh look, the sun’s rising on the east…
And the stars die here
Oh,
I wish you were here
Wish you were here
Wish you were here
Not I, there

[Please hang up and try again…]

Eight Eating Etiquettes with Asians.

Posted in Culture, Family, Food, Humor, Issues, Life on February 26, 2007 by geniusadvice

I’m still in the CNY mode, so here goes. (By Asian, I mean Chinese. Sorry, South Asians!) Hopefully the advice belows makes you on good terms with Asians relating to their culture through dining. Especially if you’re meeting your hot Asian girlfriend’s parents for the first time and they’re not white-washed. For all the points below, assume you are eating at a Chinese restaurant, and you are the minority there. That means NOT Asian, buddy.

1.
Arrive on time. Needless to say, Asians are vey judgemental while not on the outside. Being late will only label you as a slob. And that’s minus 2 brownie points.

2.
If it’s a special occasion (ie. birthdays, Chinese New Years), bring a gift. Like oranges, because…that’s how Asians are (for lack of a better explanation). For Chinese New Years, I think the unspoken rule is that married folks need to give children money in red pockets.

When you are excepting gifts, it is custom to refuse it first, preferably 3 times. If the giver doesn’t not seem to want to insist 3 times, once is fine. As long as you look reluctant to receive it.

3.
Pour the tea for everybody. This is only polite, and you should do this especially for elderly people or people generally older than you. Do not order or water Coke, as that will make it seem like you are not trying to get to know your guests. Love the tea, and pretend you’re drinking coffee instead.

4.
Learn how to use chopsticks in advanced.
This will impress Asians a lot. Forks are a no-no.

5.
Answer the interrogation questions during mealtime. This is like an interview and if they don’t like you, you’re pretty much screwed. Make you job sound glorious, even if you’re a programmer. (No offence). Don’t say how you enjoy making out with the parents’ daughter or anything stupid like that. You might get…um…injured very badly.

6.
Research some Asian dishes you can order in advanced. You won’t be getting any French fries. Don’t order Western food in a Chinese restaurant. There’s a reason for that.

7.
Dress decent. Don’t overdress, but dress ‘decent’.

8.
Paying for the bill. I don’t know if only Asians can do this, but you must seem that you really want to pay for the meal to the extent of fighting for your right to pay. Yes, this seems ridiculous, but I assure you that this is not some Asian conspiracy to scam you for a free meal. Seriously.

And that’s it.
Don’t hold me responsible if anything back fires.
Because I’ll delete this site faster than you can say “Nee ho maa??”